Almost time …

So i was directed to call a therapist per my Employee Assistance program…but i called today…she’s out until next week. And to top it off…she’s not accepting new patients. so i’ll have to call the office next week and have them refer me someone else.

i will say though…since i’ve come clean…it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. in some ways i’m wondering if i should come clean on facebook. i mean i cut my friend list down from 160 to 100. i won’t say i got rid of dead weight, but i 60% of those 60 people cut were folks that i didn’t talk to, and had never met…so make that 70%, another 15% were old classmates from high school, that hell let’s face it…its been almost 20 years…and i really haven’t spoken to them since graduation. another 5% are old college associates that i only befriended b/c of college. so what’s that like 90% so far…the other 10% were people that i talk to, but not every day. and also a combination of people that are on my other facebook page.

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‘MasterChef’s’ Josh Marks loses ‘battle of his life,’ commits suicide – CNN.com

‘MasterChef’s’ Josh Marks loses ‘battle of his life,’ commits suicide – CNN.com.

(CNN) — “MasterChef” runner-up Joshua Marks was in “the battle of his life fighting mental illness” when he killed himself Friday, his family said Sunday.
His family blames the lack of mental health treatment facilities and the easy access to guns as factors in his tragic death.

“It is overwhelming to think that with proper, intensive treatment, Joshua may still be with us,” his lawyer, Lisa Butler, said Sunday. “He was a jewel with so much talent to offer this world. But, in his state of mind, he turned to the streets for a gun and easily got it.”
Marks, 26, died from a gunshot wound to his head. His death has been ruled a suicide, a spokesman for the Cook County, Illinois, medical examiner said Sunday.
He was charged with aggravated battery in July after scuffling with police officers who were called to the scene after he suffered serious facial wounds from a self-inflicted gunshot, according to his lawyer.

His mother believed that incident was a call for help, not a suicide attempt, Butler said. But getting Marks help was not easy because of the lack of full-time mental health facilities in Illinois that would accept his insurance, she said. Continue reading

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Such a hard day

Today was the 4th anniversary of my best friends death. i want to write murder cause that’s what it was … a unspeakable act of murder. It wasn’t called for, they could have robbed him and left him. or hell if they had to shoot him…it could have been in the leg or the arm. not the back of the head or any other place that killed him. i could still have my friend.

i woke up around the time that it happened last night. i jumped up with a startled feeling that something was wrong. so i grabbed my phone looking frantically for messages of distress and/or emails. i checked my missed calls, i called a random movie line to ensure it was still working. Continue reading

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An Insider’s Tips: How NOT To Treat Bipolar Disorder

Four Things You Should Never Do With a Bipolar Person

Hello out there, normies!  That’s what some of us in the bipolar community call those of you who don’t have a mental illness (or haven’t been diagnosed with one yet).  You’re reasonably sane, enviably average, relatively predictable.  You’re the control group.  You’ve got it all going on, except . . . Sometimes you run across those of us who aren’t considered normal, and you just can’t figure us out.  Maybe we’re your best friend, your employee, your boss, your child, your sibling, your lover.  You’d really like to treat us well, but let’s face it:  we can be hard to understand.  We’re ticklish emotionally.  We do strange things and don’t even realize it.  It’s not always easy dealing with a bipolar person.  We know.

So first let me say, on behalf of all the bipolar people I’ve met, thanks for making the effort.  And in the hopes of establishing better relations between our two worlds, I’ll offer you some insider’s tips.  Here are a few things you should avoid doing at all costs:

1)    Never Throw Platitudes At Us

When I first started practicing law, I noticed that a great many lawyers relied on boilerplate:  phrases or even whole documents that had been used before, so many times they weren’t even looked at anymore, just skimmed over in a brief.  One day I asked a senior partner why the use of boilerplate was so endemic, and he told me, “Real writing means you have to actually think.  Who has time for that?”

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Manic versus depressive

Well by now your thinking if you read what this page is about…that i’m crazy.

 

I might be….

But only to a certain extent.

Today I made a big step in the treatment for my disorder. Well actually last night I took the first step in creating this blog. I can get my feelings out and the voices will stop.

So I took a big risk and talked to my supervisor’s about what has been going on in my life. The last two weeks have been pure hell. I’ve been down at work and it was very much visible. My whole team could tell that something was going on, but i don’t and can’t really be “tight enough” with my co-workers to have any kind of  ‘relationship’ with them outside the job.

So in talking with my two immediate supervisors and the human resources manager, I took the step to seek out the temp help the job would provide me. I called the Employee Assistance Program number. I asked for a therapist. I get 6 free sessions, then if my insurance covers her…i can keep going. On top of what the VA is providing me. Continue reading

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