So i was directed to call a therapist per my Employee Assistance program…but i called today…she’s out until next week. And to top it off…she’s not accepting new patients. so i’ll have to call the office next week and have them refer me someone else.
i will say though…since i’ve come clean…it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. in some ways i’m wondering if i should come clean on facebook. i mean i cut my friend list down from 160 to 100. i won’t say i got rid of dead weight, but i 60% of those 60 people cut were folks that i didn’t talk to, and had never met…so make that 70%, another 15% were old classmates from high school, that hell let’s face it…its been almost 20 years…and i really haven’t spoken to them since graduation. another 5% are old college associates that i only befriended b/c of college. so what’s that like 90% so far…the other 10% were people that i talk to, but not every day. and also a combination of people that are on my other facebook page.
So now i’m down to 100. while there are a few more that could go. i did block a few people (family members that had outrageous ways of thinking…mostly that they aren’t black … and those family members i have not spoke to since i was 12…so yeah…blocked)
I came out to a new associate of mine this past weekend. she didn’t trip about the news. just nodded her head as if she understood. then we went on nonchalantly about our conversation and the impending bball game that we were about to attend. Which of course is another step in my process. being able to deal with large crowds without freaking out.
but granted it was a Mystics game…there really wasn’t that big of a crowd. Now when i worked the pride booth for the military group i’m a part of…that was a crowd. i had to leave a few times to get some air…to regroup and then come back…quite a few times.
Either way i see the va therapist on friday morning.